Now that would be a great premise for a TV show... Just type it into google to see if it has been done before... Seriously this will make millions... must be a slow Internet day... DAMMIT... anyway...here's hoping this doesn't last 9 seasons with a poor finish...
May 17, 2015 ...Today, marks the one year anniversary of the day I married my best friend. It was a long time coming, and depending on who you ask, mainly not me or my wife, it should have happened a lot sooner than it did.
Follow me on this little journey through time as I explain how we got here. Picture it, I was in my second year of university, young, full head of hair (sigh), had the world by the short and curlies, and I was sports editor of the school paper.
Walking between classes I see this bright yellow flier on a bulletin board in a stairwell with big letters that say "Cheerleading". Now I am intrigued, so I take a closer inspection and see that there is a group trying to get people organized for the first cheerleading team ever at the university. I quickly jot down all the information I need for the first meeting and move on my way before people start staring at the guy talking to himself about cheerleading.
I tried pitching the story to my writers about the meeting and I also had an idea to get one of the girls that wrote for me to try out for the team and do a feature piece. I even tried to sweeten the pot by getting permission to run it as the main feature, which meant full color spread and centerfold, prime real estate for any journalism student looking to fill a portfolio.
No takers, not a single one, in fact as I am practically begging in front of the entire staff someone pipes up "Why don't you do it?" This wouldn't be the first nor last time my ego would get me into situations I am not 100% prepared for, but on the positive side, I usually get a great story at the end.
So the day of the meeting arrives, I am the only guy, of course I am the only guy. I talk to the girls who were running the show, explain that I was with the school paper and pitch my feature idea. Explain that I played multiple sports, thought it would be interesting to have an outsiders view of what they do and get them some publicity in the mean time. In the back of my head I am praying they say no as I know I am about to embarrass myself on a grand scale.
One girl looks at me, "Can you lift things?" "yes" "Can you count?" "yes" "Can you jump?" "yes" "See you on Tuesday!"... Dammit...
So lets fast forward a bit, I go through the try out process not thinking I was ever going to make it, I was the only guy, it made no sense. Get to the final cuts, I read over the posting to see who made the team and who didn't. I got to know some of the girls and they were nice to me despite my lack of everything. It wasn't till the second scan did I realize I made the team, then full on panic mode set in, what the hell was I going to do.
I found out later, it had nothing to do with my skills it was more a case they were really worried I was going to trash them in the paper if they cut me. Little did they realize I had already had the article prewritten with the slant that cheerleading was so hard even I couldn't make the team. So I had to scrap it and rewrite it, I really hate doing things twice.
Then after the shock wore off a bunch of people I worked with, and some buddies of mine starting making bets of how long it would take me to quit. Well not one to be seen as a quitter I decided to show everyone and last at least the year. To start off they partnered me up with my now wife J, and I have mentioned in previous posts she hated me. I am not kidding she hated me with the seven fires of Hades, she thought I was just there to pick up girls. I would like to say while that was not my initial intention, it worked in the end, always watch out for the long con.
Cheerleading is a lot of strength and timing, I had the strength the timing was initially on vacation. Which when working with a partner is never good, and J let me know several times what she thought of me, and where I should go. Eventually over time her hate turned into loathing, then loathing turned in to disdain, then disdain turned into indifference, then indifference turned into tolerance,... mainly I am saying it was a long road to love.
We became friends, good friends, then best friends. She knew everything about me, and I knew everything about her. But we never really acted on it, though lord knows enough people on the team thought we should. J brought some cookies into practise one night and said her boyfriend made them. One girl took one and said they were really good, and followed it up with I didn't know G could bake. I responded without missing a beat, "I can... but I didn't make those." You could almost hear the gears turning in her head as she was trying to process the information she just got.
We were always there for each other but never dated. I am not saying we never thought about it, but I know on my end I was very concerned about losing my closest and dearest friend if we didn't work. I understand that is a total Rom Com cliche but it was true. We were each other's shoulder to cry on, when something good happened we were usually each others first contact, when we needed someone to talk to we would reach out to each other.
Being that close there were also times where we needed to distance ourselves from each other because at some level it wasn't fair to the people we were dating. I know I had more than one J related fight with more than one girl because they didn't like how close we were. I guess that probably should have clued me in on where I was meant to be sooner. But if anything I am stubborn, and good looking... and smart... and humble... where was I going with this again...
When E's dad walked out I did my friendly duty of being there for J and her. At the time I wasn't even thinking about us becoming an us, as I mentioned in a previous post I was more concerned about E. As we moved forward, E made us take a look at our relationship seriously, we were no longer kids in university. We were an important piece of each others lives for over a decade, we knew we loved each other but the fear of losing each other was still there. But as I always say when I push my chips in the middle for poker "God hates a coward."
We never had a real start date for officially dating, it just kind of started. As we were going, I realized I didn't want to spend another day of my life without her or E in it. So I popped the question, which was difficult because every way I wanted to do it got squashed for one reason or another. So I decided to do it as we were walking the dog by the lake. The first time I tried to do it the dog decided it was a good place to poop, that really sets the mood. I tried to steer her towards a bridge do it over the water, she didn't want to go that way. I was trying to get a word in and she just kept talking so I slipped the ring into her hand. Apparently she was wondering why I put a quarter in her hand. Obviously it was a tad more than 25 cents, she said yes, and when we got back the first thing I did was tell E was we were going to be a family.
One year ago I married my best friend, my partner, the mother of my daughter and now soon to be son. Mere words cannot express how lucky I think I am every day, and how much she means to me.
Love you more than you'll ever know, J.
