June 14 at 8:19pm I welcomed my son into the world. I wept which should be no surprise as I lost $20 to my wife for crying during our vows. My immediate family expected me to cry, my inlaws expected me to cry, hell my brother's wife's family expected me to cry. I apparently have become the token crier of the family, which is "great" for my self esteem but I deal with it.
I have waxed poetic about how it was love at first site for my daughter was like getting hit by a bus, actually being there for his birth was like getting hit by a freight train, I was beside myself. And if you look at my baby pictures it was apropos as he looks like my clone. We had to spend a few days in the Mother Baby Unit as his levels were a tad off and they wanted to make sure everything was on the up and up before they released us.
Finally get C home, excited to show him the nursery. I understand that he is barely seeing shapes at this moment in time but I put work into that superhero room dammit. That night I leave my phone in the bedroom to charge as I am relaxing on the couch with C. My wife is in the tub, for some reason she left her phone on the couch beside me. It begins to ring and its my dad so I answer her phone, he is wondering why I haven't answered my phone. My grandmother got rushed to the hospital that night and he was trying to get a hold of me. I tell him to keep me in the loop not trying to panic as the past few years my grandmother has been in and out of the hospital but recently she was diagnosed with lung cancer and we were told it was just a matter of time.
Don't get me wrong she lived a full life, either 90 or 91 years if you want to believe her (90) or her birth certificate (91). Somehow it was jarring to be holding my son who was mere days old to find out my grandmother a decade (or if you believe the Canadian government, 9 years) shy of a century was in hard times. The next day, my dad called again and told me I better get my ass to the hospital and pay my respects because the doctors didn't think she would wake up and might not be breathing in a few hours.
I drive 2 hours to the hospital alone, as the daughter is camping with the inlaws and mother and baby have appointments since being discharged. I could have waited for my wife and C but wanted to get there before i couldn't say my final goodbyes. I take some pictures of C on my Ipad so she could see him better, then I make the longest 2 hour drive of my life. Somehow she ends up waking up, I end up showing her the pictures of C and tell her that I love her. I make the trip home.
I'm the first to admit I was never the favorite grandchild, that was my brother and if my cousins want to disagree I will gladly let them be wrong but she loved us all. However, when everyone moved out of our home town I always made sure to stop by as much as I could to check in on her, sometimes to make sure she didn't burn the house down but other times to legitimately visit with my grandmother anyone who knew her knew she was always up for coffee and a visit.
She was headstrong stubborn, and pretty easy to get fired up. When I bought my first house, I only had a bed, 2 chairs, TV stand, big screen TV, and some miscellaneous used odds and ends for furniture. She wanted to help me out and offered me money to get new furniture. Having a well paying job, and getting a bit of a stubborn/proud streak from her I told her and this is an exact quote... "If you give me any money I am going to spend it on hookers and blow." My dad's "lady friend" was there at the time to witness this family tete et tete and honestly was my escape plan, she was losing her mind laughing in the next room. But I can honestly admit it was one of the few times I made her at a loss for words.
If you can't tell I lost my grandmother on June 19, almost 5 days and 20 minutes when C was born. I was at a preseason CFL football game with my daughter when it happened, because I promised her a daddy daughter football date. I knew what happened before I was actually told it, because I texted my dad leaving the game at half time asking how she was. Instead of an update it was a question asking if I was still at the game, the family was trying not to ruin my time with E but I knew what was coming next. It has taken me a few days to realize how much that can mess up a system not the way I found out but the just the roller coaster. My wife has pointed out that I felt too guilty to celebrate and too happy to properly mourn, I am/was in a weird emotional purgatory
The cliche goes "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh", well this week has proven that. All I can do is raise my children the way she would want me too, so basically a stubborn streak a mile wide and a blinding loyalty to family no matter what.
Love and miss you Dorothy.
